Chase the accomplishments of others, and you’ll miss out on your own greatness.
When people ask what I do, they find out that I coach angels and that my mission is to help you be your better angel. They get curious, ask a little more, and at some point, without fail, they ask: “Are you going to be the next Tony Robbins?”
When Kobe Bryant entered the NBA, he was hailed as “the next Michael Jordan.” The same thing happened to Lebron James when he entered the NBA. Thankfully, Kobe and Lebron established themselves by their own merits and on their own terms. They showed the world that they were Kobe and Lebron, not Michael.
The boy band One Direction experienced something similar. After a strong debut album, many labeled them “the next Beatles.” One Direction weren’t the first to receive that label either. In the past, other bands were also considered to be “the next Beatles.” One Direction just happened to be the latest. But none ever became bigger than the Beatles.
Great leaders understands that being “the next big thing” is not the direction to follow.
The Next…
Leaders don’t fall for the trap of becoming the next anything. The next Tony Robbins, the next Michael Jordan, the next Beatles. It’s not who you are!
Your mission and talents as a leader are different from those other guys. Your road to success may parallel theirs. You may even be built on the same principles. But your success as a leader will be expressed in your own matchless flavor. None can do what you do.
Never forget: you are the leader and champion of you!
Chasing “the next…” is an empty pursuit. It distracts from your mission, and prevents you from manifesting your greatness. It also leads to imposter syndrome: the feeling of being a fake and a phony.
The biggest problem with being “the next…” is that you automatically set yourself up to be outdated. Because there will always be another “next.”
This 2012 commercial from Best Buy perfectly presents the problem of “the next…”:
Don’t be a sillyhead. Chasing “the next…” is a fool’s errand.
The One and Only
Instead of seeking to be the next big thing, great leaders work toward being The One and Only. In the tech industry there is only one Google, one Facebook, one Apple. History only has one Amelia Earhart, one Ella Fitzgerald, and one Frida Kahlo. And when it comes to fictional villains, no one comes close to imitating Darth Vader, the Joker, or Voldemort.
Being a One and Only is where greatness lies. The legendary boxer Muhammad Ali understood this. He fully owned who he was, and what he was about. He didn’t chase the accomplishments of others. Rather, he made his mark on the world (not just in boxing) by focusing on unleashing his inner champion.
Did Muhammad Ali have critics? Yes. Did he offend some people? Of course he did. That’s what happens when you become a One and Only.
Be Your Own Category
In his podcast The Accidental Creative, Todd Henry reminds us that “cover bands don’t change the world.”
If you spend your time trying to copy a style, looking to attract the masses, or following trends, you will not be One and Only. You will be an imitator. A cover band.
Bands like the Beatles change the world because they focus on qualities that make them unique and timeless. They focus on the purest and highest expression of their talent. They make their own category.
Shakespeare was not the first to write a play. But he invented new words in the english language, challenged the conventions of his day, and adapted universal themes to his form of expression. In the process he created a category for himself and his plays: Shakespearean.
Recap
What kind of leader do you want to be? The next big thing? Or The One and Only?
Don’t be a sillyhead. Trying to be the next big thing is shortsighted. The next big thing comes and goes. It is quickly replaced by the next next big thing.
The One and Only changes the world because it is inimitable. No other person or thing comes close to expressing the genius of the One and Only.
Being One and Only means creating your own category. And it’s the hallmark of true leaders.
Thank you for reading!
Everything I write is with the goal of helping you. If this post was helpful, please share it with someone you know. It might help them out.
If you would like improve as a leader, and be the One and Only version of yourself, schedule a call with me to get started today.
This is one way of telling the Universe what I’m seeking. I believe you are out there searching for someone who can help. Someone who can point the way to the things you seek. Let’s connect and change the world together!
I invite you to be your better angel. The world needs us to step up and be angels for each other. I look forward to connect with you.
When you’re a kid, personal development is just called life, and every day is a milestone. Approach life with childlike curiosity, and you will accelerate your personal growth.
I’ve taken care of my 3-year-old niece for the past three months. It’s been an adjustment to say the least. But it’s also been one of the best things to happen for my personal development.
My niece puts everything into crystal clear perspective. Her innocence and honesty leaves no room for doubt. And her curiosity about everything is matched by her tenacity to try everything.
She recently started potty training. It didn’t go so well at first. When I asked if she wanted to go potty, she refused. If she did agree to sit on the toilet, nothing happened. This went on for a couple of weeks. Then one day she said, “I want to wear my big girl underwear.”
So she put on her big girl underwear, and wouldn’t you know it, she started going potty! Now she tells me when she needs to go, runs to the bathroom, and sits on the toilet. And when she starts going, she smiles with pride.
Personal Development is like Potty Training
When my niece first started potty training she wasn’t ready. She hadn’t decided that going to the bathroom was something she was going to do. That’s why she refused and didn’t cooperate. It’s why even if she agreed to try, she just sat on the toilet and nothing happened. But once she made the decision to go potty, she was all in and started doing it on her own. The same is true in the area of personal development.
Significant growth does not happen until you decide. Others may bribe or coax or nag or plead or threaten, but you will refuse to do it. Even if you are persuaded to try it out, nothing will happen. Just like my niece who sat on the toilet without anything happening because she didn’t want to go potty. Once you decide, you make progress.
Success begins with a decision. There are many decisions to make on the way to success and personal development. But as long as you keep making decisions, you will progress.
Decisions determine destiny.
– Thomas S. Monson
Put on your “big girl underwear”
Decisions without action are just wishes. You haven’t really made a decision until you act. When my niece decided she was ready to potty train, she acted. She put on her “big girl underwear.”
Personal development requires that you “put on your big girl underwear.” This means doing what is necessary regardless of your doubts or fears. The necessary action may be uncomfortable or embarrassing, but you’re committed to doing it because you know progress will be made. Sometimes it needs to be massive action. Other times it’s something small. Whatever the case may be, if you really want to make progress, you must act.
Actions demonstrate commitment. You are only as committed as your willingness to act. This is true in business, relationships, and personal development. Those who make the most progress are the ones who are most committed. You can tell a person’s level of commitment by their actions. The mantras of the committed are:
“Show. Don’t tell.”
“Actions speak louder than words.”
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
“Accidents” happen
My niece is still new to the whole going to the bathroom thing. She hasn’t quite mastered it yet. Every now and then she’ll have an accident. And that’s ok because she’s still learning.
Having “accidents” is part of personal development. It’s what helps us grow the most because it exposes an area for improvement. When Navy Seals prepare for a mission, they practice for months before being deployed. They run through the mission over and over again, exposing flaws and weaknesses and mistakes. They meticulously study their mistakes, and then they work to correct them. Learning from their errors helps them prepare for the mission ahead. When it’s time to deploy, they’re confident the mission will be a success because they allowed themselves to fail first.
Snowboarders and surfers know that the key to improving is accepting you will fall. When you accept this, you improve. If you want to progress in any area of your life, accept that you will make mistakes. Those mistakes will be the key to unlocking your full potential.
Have sufficient courage to make mistakes.
– Paulo Coelho
Recap
Personal development begins the moment you decide. Your decision is made when you take action. “Put on your big girl underwear” and get to it. Mistakes are part of growth and improvement. Make them anyways.
What decision must you make in order to progress?
What action must you do now to manifest that decision?
How will you “put on your big girl underwear?”
Will you accept mistakes and learn from them?
Thank you for reading!
Everything I write is with the goal of helping others. If this post was helpful to you, please share it with someone you know. It might help them out.
If you would like to rapidly accelerate your personal development, schedule a call with me today.
We live in the most abundant age in the history of the world, and yet we face a spiritual deficit.
The current conditions around the world are manifestations of our collective spirituality.
Injustice, hate, violence, hostility, dishonesty, and fear, are all symptoms of the condition of our spirit, body, and mind.
The responsibility falls squarely on each of us. Not on religion, or government, or science, or culture.
I take responsibility for the world I’m living in, and the world I’m creating for future generations.
I choose to rise up spiritually.
I choose to be better every day.
I choose to be more kind, more compassionate, more just, more truthful, more loving, more patient, more humble, more grateful, more honorable, more peaceful, more playful, more joyful.
Together we can create a world where we are all pure in heart.
She was crying. I didn’t have to ask how she felt. Her tears showed it.
She wasn’t crying tears of sadness or pain. She was crying tears of relief.
Decades of repressed emotions were being released. Each tear washing away pain, anger, frustration, fear, disappointment.
After a while, her tight quivering jaw softened. Her breathing slowed, Her shoulders relaxed. When the tears finally stopped, she sighed, and all she could say was:
I feel healed.
And then the tears of joy came.
The snippet you just read happened a couple of days ago during a coaching sessions with a client. And it was repeated with several other clients during the past week.
I share this with you because many people still don’t know what a life coach does.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
I get asked this question a lot. Because life coaching is a relatively new profession, most people aren’t as familiar with it as they are with other professions such as nurse, teacher, lawyer, etc.
Whenever I tell people I’m a life coach, the most common reactions I receive are:
Curiosity. Some wonder if it’s like therapy or counseling.
Cynicism: Some will ask: “What? You teach people how not to suck at life?”
Confusion. Some immediately go into a blank stare when they hear the title “life coach” because it’s a foreign concept and it just doesn’t register in their heart or their mind.
While different coaches focus on different things and use different methods, the best coaches achieve two major results for their clients:
Healing
Wholeness
When a client feels healed and whole, she shows up in her life and relationships in a powerful way, making life happen instead of waiting for life to happen. She remembers who she truly is, manifests her purpose in life. and lives inspired.
HEALING
Whenever a negative energy or condition turns into a positive one, that is a healing.
It is a miracle and a wonder that our bodies can heal without any conscious thought from us. Who knows how many different ailments, maladies, diseases or otherwise, are naturally transformed from negatives into positives without us even realizing it.
Sometimes though, our body needs outside help. It may be in the form of an over the counter medicine, the trained skill of a medical professional, or the gifts of a spiritual healer like myself.
And it’s not just the body that require outside help every once in a while. The spirit and mind also need help. A spirit burdened with guilt or shame or pride, will affect the body and mind. A mind fixated on the past or worried about the future, will affect the spirit and the body.
Once healing happens in spirit, body, and mind, then wholeness can begin.
WHOLENESS
Being whole means to be at one with Self, Others,and God (the Universe).
In wholeness, Love is the expression; Gratitude and Appreciation are the overall attitudes.
In a world where competition seems like the natural order of things, it may seem impossible to be one with anything or anyone, including our own selves.
The truth is, as we become at one with everything, we realize there is no competition. Only existence. And in existence, things are free to come and go, to transform, to be who or what they truly are and always have been.
At times, this brings us to some seemingly irreconcilable differences. Things that appear to contradict each other (e.g., religion and science), and to which there is no available answer as of yet.
That’s ok. Wholeness doesn’t require a perfect knowledge and understanding of everything. All it needs is an ability to hold space for the known and the unknown, the light and the shadow, the positive and the negative. When this space exists, wholeness flourishes.
THANK YOU
I appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts and feelings on Coaching, Healing, and Wholeness. If you believe this will benefit a family member or friend, please share it with them.
If you or someone you know is in need of healing or wholeness, contact me. I will be happy help in any way I can.
The Mexica calendar (commonly referred to as the Aztec calendar), has 360 days, and five “extra days”. In the Nahuatl language, those five extra days are called Nemontemi. One interpretation of the word is “complete what has been lived.”
Traditionally, the Mexica people used those extra five days as a time for reflecting on the completed year. It was a period of introspection and preparation for the new year.
My Personal Nemontemi
I began my personal Nemontemi practice in 2014. At the time I didn’t know about the Mexica tradition of the extra five days. I just intuitively noticed that the last six days of the year felt like an in between space and time. A transition point between the past year and the new year.
After Christmas, once all the presents are opened, empty boxes are stacked high, and wrapping paper litters the floor, my attention naturally turns to the New Year.
And if not mindful, I miss out on the final gift of the season: the last six days of the year.
I noticed that the last six days are the perfect time to reflect on blessings and gifts received all year. These days can be a time for reviewing lessons learned and challenges met. The last six days of the year can be a sacred time and space in which intentions and plans are set for the new year.
And that’s how I arrived at my personal practice of Nemontemi.
Time for Introspection
My personal practice during this period is to reflect and review on the first three days. From December 26 through 28, I review my journals and electronic notes, and outline the things that stand out. This one ritual helps to reinforce or recall lessons learned, it sharpens the memory of moments past, and highlights patterns repeated throughout the year.
By the end of December 28, I am filled with gratitude for everything that happened in the year, I have a greater sense of clarity and purpose, and in this state of gratitude I am ready to set intentions and make plans for the new year.
Time for Intentions
On December 29 I begin reviewing my life mission. In doing so, I notice whether or not my actions in the past year aligned with my mission. If my actions didn’t align, then I identify where I can course correct and refocus.
A better alignment to my mission makes it easier to set my intentions for the new year.
Now that I’m filled with gratitude and clarity, more aligned with my mission, and focused on my intentions, I’m ready to plan my desired outcomes for the new year.
The last two days of the year (December 30 and 31) is when I plan. I begin with the end in mind, and focus on how each outcome will further my life mission. I visualize myself making the effort and working toward my desired outcomes. I imagine the excitement and satisfaction of achievement in my body. Then, and only then, do I write down the desired outcomes.
After writing down my desired outcomes, I make a bullet point list of those outcomes, and put that list in my planner. This ensures that I constantly see my desired outcomes as I plan my weeks and days, and it keeps me on track throughout the year.
My wish for you
However you spend the last six days of the year, I wish you an abundance of joy, peace, and love.
May you close out the year in a beautiful way, and may your hopes for the new year be realized.
A couple of days ago I reflected on all the good things that happened in my life during 2016. I had a quick snapshot of lessons learned, achievements reached, and relationships strengthened. I saw growth, and meaningful moments, and laughter. I was filled with gratitude, love, and profound contentment. Then it hit me.
I’M RICH!
I am rich in love.
I am rich in faith.
I am rich in hope.
I am rich in relationships.
I am rich in wisdom.
I am rich in purpose.
I am rich in service.
I am rich in Spirit.
I am rich in peace.
I am rich in joy.
Oh I’ve had my share of setbacks, mistakes, heartbreak, and disappointments. I’ve struggled, and stumbled, and sunk.
Do I have a lot of money in the bank? Not yet.
Thankfully, I have more today than I did yesterday.
Am I making my journey alongside the love of my life? Not yet.
Journeys take preparation. We’ll come together when we’re both ready.
Have I made a lasting contribution to humanity? Not yet.
I do make daily contributions in the lives of the ones I love.
Truly Rich
The world likes to define rich as being famous and having a gazillion dollars. Those who follow this line of thinking are never happy because they always want more. Every increase, every achievement, every “success” is more empty than the previous one. Until finally, life is hollow and meaningless.
The truly rich enjoy the present because to them it is a gift. Life makes them rich in connection, not possession. They are abundant in collaboration rather than competition. Giving and receiving replaces taking and expecting. Loving appreciation overcomes judgmental rejection.
If you desire to be truly rich, your heart must open wide to Life and the Universe. Only then will you be ready to receive all that Life and the Universe want to give.
Craig Sager passed away today after an inspiring two year battle with cancer.
He was know as the NBA sideline reporter with the crazy suits. When he was presented with the Jimmy V Perseverance Award earlier this year at the ESPYS, Sager said:
Whatever I might’ve imagined a terminal diagnosis would do to my spirit, it’s summoned quite the opposite – the greatest appreciation for life itself.
So I will never give up. And I will never give in. I will continue to keep fighting, sucking the marrow out of life, as life sucks the marrow out of me. I will live my life full of love and full of fun. It’s the only way I know how.
How’s that for a life purpose and lasting legacy?!
