Service is one of the most powerful ways to connect with others. The human spirit needs connection. It is driven to reach out and be part of something bigger than itself.
So if you feel like connecting with someone, go serve them!
Besides being able to connect, here are three other reasons for serving others.
1. Gratitude
Those who serve best do so from a deep sense of gratitude. They recognize that serving others is a way of acknowledging the immediate goodness of God and his abundant blessings. The gratitude they feel translates into a desire to be of service to others, and to help wherever possible. Their motto is: “Because I have been given much, I too must give…Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.”
2. God’s Love
A person’s secret prayer is usually answered through the service of others. Those acts of service become a demonstration of God’s love. Especially when the need is great, and the prayers have been earnest.
When you are the instrument of service, you also feel God’s love for you. No matter how weak or unworthy you feel, if God uses you to answer the prayer of another, He obviously believes in you and trusts you enough for that service.
3. Growth
One of the rewards for selfless service is growth. Growth in the person being served, growth in the one serving, and growth in the community at large.
When you serve or receive service, everybody wins. When everybody wins, we become better, stronger, united. This is how the human family grows.
A “but” mindset interrupts your desires and ideas. It stops creativity dead in its tracks.
The word “but” interrupts anything that was said before, completely negates it, and sends a signal to your brain that the important information is what comes after “but.”
For example:
I want to travel…BUT I don’t have money.
I want to write a novel…BUT I have writer’s block.
I want to get in shape…BUUUUT I never have time to exercise.
Do you see how the “BUT” completely interrupts the fist part and leaves you hanging with the last piece of information?
AND
Don’t let “BUT” get in the way. Switch it to “AND” instead. The word “and” brings everything together, challenging you to make choices when contradictory ideas are juxtaposed. Observe:
I want to travel AND I don’t have money.
Ok, so what are you going to do about it?
I want to write a novel AND I have writer’s block.
Ok, how will you get past the block?
I want to get in shape AND I never have time to exercise.
Ok, when will you make time?
“AND” keeps you moving forward. It empowers you to take control of each situation, AND puts you in a more creative state. *see what I did there?*
Let “AND” become your new superpower. You’ll be amazed at how much this one little change will affect the way you feel, think, and act.
You are a complete system consisting of body, mind, and spirit. The quality of your life depends on how well you manage each part.
Fitness, Health, and Wholeness are not the same thing. Fitness relates to how much physical activity you can do. Health is focused on you being free of illness or injury. Wholeness is centered on your emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
Here is another way of looking at the difference between Fitness, Health, and Wholeness:
Fitness is about your body.
Health is about your body and mind.
Wholeness is about your body, mind, and spirit.
Look. Feel. Be.
Fitness tends to pay attention to how you look. Health becomes a matter whether or not you feel sick. Wholeness usually translates to how happy you are.
Be. Feel. Look.
Begin with BEing whole, and you will FEEL better. When you FEEL better, you LOOK better. Put Wholeness first, and soon Health and Fitness follow.
AND
Fitness, Health, and Wholeness are not mutually exclusive. It’s not a case of either/or. It’s a matter of AND.
You can be fit AND healthy AND whole.
There is no “one little secret to being fit.” No “key to health.” No “formula for wholeness.” Because you are a system of all three, you must manage all three. It takes intentional planning and diligent effort. Some days you’ll do better than others. Do it consistently enough, and you will become Whole, Healthy, and Fit.
Spirituality is a skill you can develop, and is essential to your progress as a person. If you want to live a life full of joy, meaning, and purpose; then you must grow in spirituality.
Spirituality impels [you] to conquer difficulties and acquire more and more strength. – David O. McKay
SBNR
Over the last 50 years, individuals all over the world have increasingly self identified as being Spiritual But Not Religious (SBNR). This means they consider themselves spiritual, but do not affiliate with any organized religion. In the U.S. alone, “one-fifth of the U.S. public – and a third of adults under 30 – are religiously unaffiliated today.”1And even though these individuals do not practice a particular religion, most of them do believe in God.2
So what about you? Do you consider yourself spiritual but not religious? Have you developed the skill of spirituality?
Skill
Spirituality is the skill of self–mastery and communion with the Infinite (i.e. God, Spirit, Source, Light, the Universe). This simple definition is tremendously practical because it can be practiced by the most ardent believer and the staunchest non–believer alike.
A spiritual person seeks to master Self and to be at one with the Infinite. Think about the most spiritual people in your life. What is their level of self–mastery? How connected do they feel to the Infinite? Do they not seem to be connected to everyone and everything around them? If you asked them, they would most likely tell you they’ve been practicing the skill of spirituality for a long time, and that they still have a long way to go before they master it.
The skill of spirituality helps you develop inner strength. It puts things into proper perspective, and gives you a clear view of things as they really are. Nature becomes a temple. Music becomes a language of truth. The body becomes an instrument for channeling the Infinite.
As your spirituality increases, so does your wholeness, purpose, and fulfillment.
Developing the Skill
Like any skill, spirituality is developed through practice. Present practice. Striving to be better now than you were a moment ago. Letting yesterday go and resolving to be better today.
What must you practice? Everything that helps you master Self and be at one with the Infinite.
Common traits of the spiritually skillful are:
1. Awareness – being attuned to the expressions of Self, others, and the Infinite. The key is to create space for the expression of all three, and to listen for the Truth in each expression. Feelings, thoughts, words, and actions are carefully chosen because these influence the harmony between all three expressions, and either sharpen or dull awareness.
2. Prayer/Meditation – moments of reflection where the deepest desires are expressed, and intense listening is the prevailing attitude. The overall goal is to bring back or manifest the clarity of Truth, to feel or perceive the presence of the Infinite, and to reconcile the relationship between Self and the Infinite.
3. Ritual – a series of actions, behaviors, or practices that are consistently repeated, often with intention and reverence. Ritual does not have to be religious. It can be anything that requires focus, discipline, and commitment to regular practice. This includes yoga, exercise of some sort, playing an instrument, painting, writing, and other creative activities. Even washing the car each week can be a ritual.
4. Love – for Self, others, and the Infinite. Usually expressed in the form of appreciation, compassion, humor, kindness, and respect. To love one is to love many. Those who love most are most grateful. Love for Self includes appreciation of imperfections. Love for others includes nature and all of its creatures. Love for the Infinite includes patience for the uncertain and unknown.
5. Giving – a selfless desire to provide as much as possible to others. Born of love and the recognition that much has been received. It is usually done in private and without expectation of reciprocation. Generously giving helps the spiritually skillful to master Self because it turns the focus to others. The giver finds her own needs and wants met as she meets the needs and wants of others.
6. Study – continual learning; especially of Truth. The spiritually skillful recognize that mastery over Self and communion with the Infinite require a deeper and deeper understanding of Self and the Infinite. The need for study becomes obvious because the more you learn, the more you realize how much you don’t know. Mastery doesn’t mean becoming an expert. Rather, it means being a continual student.
7. Sacrifice – willfully giving up one thing for something far better. It requires the faith, hope, and trust because there is no guarantee that the future benefit will actually be received. And it comes in all shapes and sizes. Some sacrifice a half hour of sleep in order to receive the benefit of an early work out. Others sacrifice the pursuit of personal gain in exchange for more time with loved ones. Ultimately, mastery of Self and communion with the Infinite requires giving up the old Self.
Within Reach
Spirituality is like water. Where more is present, Life thrives. Where there is little, Life is a barren desert.
And just as nature has its times, rhythms, and seasons of growth; so too does the skill of spirituality.
Few achieve mastery in this life. But all can develop the skill of spirituality.
I used to be nice. I used be very nice. But not anymore. Why?
Because I learned the difference between being nice and being kind. NIceness is focused on pleasing others at the expense of Self. Kindness is focused on love and respect for Self and others.
When I was nice, it was because I wanted to win the acceptance and approval of others. Every time I was nice, it was at the expense of my self worth.
HIDDEN MESSAGE
When we insist on someone being nice, we are effectively telling them that we do not and will not like them unless they behave in a way that is pleasing to us. This hidden message is most apparent, and most detrimental, when told to children.
A couple of days ago my two year old niece Harper was fidgety at the dinner table. Her attention was on Curious George rather than her food. Her mom (my youngest sister), wanting for Harper to finish dinner, encouraged her to eat up before bath time. Harper replied with a firm “NO!”, and threw some food on the table. My sister attempted to correct this outburst by saying “Harper, not nice.”
And there it was! The hidden message of “being nice.” I heard and saw the conditioning and oppression of nice right before my eyes. By saying “not nice,” my sister was telling Harper that she needed to be nice in order to be liked.
Don’t get me wrong. My sister is a great mom, and she does everything a single mother can do to raise her daughter. She didn’t intend to tell Harper that she wouldn’t be liked unless she complied with “being nice.” She was just trying to instill good manners at the dinner table.
(Disclaimer…I am not a parent, nor have I ever been a parent. So I can only begin to imagine the difficulty of teaching a child good values while at the same time instilling discipline).
The point is, the oppression of nice begins early on in life. As early as two years old. And if you’re still not convince, recall the lyrics of the song “Santa Clause is Coming to Town.”
You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town
He’s making a list He’s checking it twice; He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice Santa Claus is coming to town
The message is that Santa Clause is coming, and the child will only get a gift if she doesn’t cry or pout, and is nice.
Is it any wonder then that many individuals grow up to be people pleasers who are nice to everybody else except themselves? Individuals who suppress their true identity, and fear being their true Self because they don’t want to be “mean”, “naughty” or “not nice?”
THE POWER OF KINDNESS
Logic doesn’t penetrate the heart and spirit of a person. Only kindness does.
It washes over a person’s heart, melting icy indifference with compassionate caring and warm respect. It softens the hardened heart with soft tones of understanding. It recognizes the worth of the spirit, and honors it as divinely great.
When I learned to love and respect myself, kindness naturally blossomed and radiated to everyone I met. I saw we are all worthy of love and respect, and that we are all trying our best under our own particular circumstances. I understood that the only acceptance and approval needed was from Father.*
*(when I say Father, I mean God. You may use another term for Her/Him: Gaia, Spirit, Source, etc. Father is the one I prefer).
A person filled with love and respect for Self and others will naturally be kind. She will think of others as herself. She will serve out of love. She will set healthy boundaries and know how to say no. She will listen to others compassionately, and keep her own voice.
Kindness leaves an indelible mark on the heart and spirit. It improves living and working environments. It strengthens relationships. It affects generations to come. The kindness you show today will ripple into future.
I just watched Tarzan with my 2 year old niece, and was reminded of this beautiful song. The message in the lyrics is powerful and full of truth. Give it a listen!
Oh, the power to be strong
And the wisdom to be wise
All these things will
come to you in time
On this journey that you’re making
There’ll be answers that you’ll seek
And it’s you who’ll climb the mountain
It’s you who’ll reach the peak
Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you’ll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you’ll be
Though there’s no one there to guide you
No one to take your hand
But with faith and understanding
You will journey from boy to man
Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you’ll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you’ll be
In learning you will teach
And in teaching you will learn
You’ll find your place beside the
ones you love
Oh, and all the things you dreamed of
The visions that you saw
Well, the time is drawing near now
It’s yours to claim in all
Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you’ll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you’ll be
Just watched Tarzan with my 2 year old niece, and was reminded of this beautiful song. The message in the lyrics is powerful and full of truth. Give it a listen!
Oh, the power to be strong
And the wisdom to be wise
All these things will
come to you in time
On this journey that you’re making
There’ll be answers that you’ll seek
And it’s you who’ll climb the mountain
It’s you who’ll reach the peak
Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you’ll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you’ll be
Though there’s no one there to guide you
No one to take your hand
But with faith and understanding
You will journey from boy to man
Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you’ll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you’ll be
In learning you will teach
And in teaching you will learn
You’ll find your place beside the
ones you love
Oh, and all the things you dreamed of
The visions that you saw
Well, the time is drawing near now
It’s yours to claim in all
Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you’ll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you’ll be
Son of Man,
Son of Man’s a man for all to see
Poster created for the Pioneer Ward Sunday School group on Facebook. The preliminary image was created in the Wordle website (www.wordle.net), using the text from the LDS Triple Combination.
